


too much love

by hcnrera



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Expiration Date AU, This Is Sad, im sorry, just with added depression, there is mention of brian with anita, this is pretty much the band dealing with freddie impending death, this pretty much follows real life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 12:47:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20706236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hcnrera/pseuds/hcnrera
Summary: prompt:What if people were born with "expiration dates" on their body. What if on this “date” you were supposedly going to die?Freddie Mercury is born with a date, that when compared to others, occurs much earlier.





	too much love

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is an old work I found on my google drive and I polished(ish) the story and decided there's no harm in posting this. The main reference I used when writing this piece was Jim Hutton's book: Mercury and Me. Of course, towards the end of this, I took some liberties since this an AU and I live for the sadness, but major plot points, such as the band not finding out about his illness but suspecting it is present in Jim's book.  
Also, I know the song, "Too Much Love Will Kill You" is written by Brian about his divorce due to his affair, but Freddie's version of the song always makes me cry and I feel like any song can have its interpretation changed by the singer.

Farrokh Bulsara was born in a small country where people were persecuted and killed for their religion. So, when his mother and father saw the ‘expiration date’, as it was called by the populous, they figured it would have to do with the impending conflict. Some people think this fate might’ve been kinder to the man in the end.

It wasn’t until around the age of 12 or 13 that Farrokh, or Freddie as his friends at boarding school dubbed him, that he understood the meaning of the date etched into his hip. He had noticed that during his school days, many of his friends had dates that surpassed his with only one or two other boys preceding him. It was in health class- or maybe history Freddie didn’t really pay enough attention to care- he learned what the date meant. It was the day you were going to die. For many years after, this information would come back to haunt the young man, often when he was alone with his thoughts.

It was about 5 years later he and his family, his mother; father; and sister, left Zanzibar for England. Here it was that Freddie decided he would make the most of what he could in his decided short life. It was here that in college he would join bands, many unsuccessful, for fun. It was here that he would start a band that some would contest is one of the best rock bands ever.

Freddie Mercury, as he was now named, made it sure to never show off his date unless necessary to those he was close to. In fact, it wasn’t until their first tour in America that Brian May, Roger Taylor, and John Deacon, the band members he’d become famous with, ever saw the date.

The date was something that Roger fixated on. It was Roger, who would bring up the conversation of dates when the four of them were working on songs. When it was just the three of them though, Roger, John, and Brian many times would discuss why their friend possibly had such an earlier date than them. All three of their dates easily went into their 80s, but Freddie’s had his death before he made it to 50. It was at one of these meetings as Roger would call them, that the three came to an agreement to try and stop whatever was going to kill their friend if they could.

Perhaps it was due to fame. Perhaps it was the parties. But for a few years, it seems like the date was an obsolete timer. Freddie, determined to make the most of life, was sleeping with hundreds of partners a year and the other three became entwined with their families. With Freddie’s anxiety about his time being up all but nonexistent, it slipped into the back of the minds of the other three as well. It wasn’t until Freddie settled down with Jim Hutton that the timer once again became an entity that loomed over Freddie.

Early in 1987, Freddie found out what would eventually settle his fate. A disease of all things. Not a bullet which claimed John Lennon in 1980 or drugs like many others before him, but a measly illness. AIDS would be his mistress of death. It would be later that year that John would notice a symptom of the disease and disclose information to the other members.

“I’m telling you guys, the marks on his legs weren’t normal,” John spoke in a hushed tone afraid that at any moment the currently late singer would bust in.

“Jim told you there were sunspots though, right?” Roger retorted back, unconvinced of Deacon’s theory.

“Well yeah. But he easily could’ve lied to me. Fred has settled down now, but before Jim, he was quite promiscuous. I’ve been hearing on the news that one in every three gay men have the disease,” John shot back.

“He’s got a point, Rog. With how many people Freddie was with, it wouldn’t be surprising if he’d caught it.” Brian spoke, who had so far been quiet throughout the exchange.

“If he does have it. And that’s a big if. He would tell me,” Roger continued to counter. Perhaps it was hardest for Roger to accept because if he did it meant he had to acknowledge that Freddie’s death would soon occur, which meant he had failed.

The conversation died, and the three men sat there in silence for a few minutes. Each of them processing the information in different ways. The silence was broken by the man whose health had been discussed in hushed voices only a few minutes earlier showing up. Freddie’s date and health were never brought back up again between the other bandmates.

It took about a year more for Roger to accept that John was right. Due to all four of them wanting to focus on their solo careers and families, they hadn’t toured since 1986 and with how Freddie was looking it became more and more apparent, they would never again. One day, when the four of them were working in the studio an incident forced Roger to realize John’s words would forever be seared into his mind.

Freddie was known for prancing about on stage during their touring years. Sure, there would be times he’d get caught up in the wires, but those were few and far between. Freddie normally was aware of the wire and where his feet were and would untangle himself long before he might trip. So, when Freddie tripped over nothing, it was like time stood still for Roger. 

Freddie had been behind the glass messing with Brian’s guitar solo and was coming out to work on the chorus that would be sung by Brian, Roger, and him when he tripped over his own feet. John did this all the time. Even Roger and Brian had done it on occasion, but it was the first time Freddie had ever done so and there not be a shout of laughter at his own mistake. It took all Roger had to not look away with anguish at the sight of his friend dying.

It wasn't until 1889, that Freddie confessed to the band about his illness. He quickly added that all he wanted to do was work. It was from that point on that, that was what Freddie’s life became. Going into the studio in the morning and coming back late at night. All in the hopes that once he was gone, he would have something for people to remember him by.

Just like that, the years flew by and time only seemed to slow when Freddie could no longer walk. Early in 1991, the band had released what would become their last album before his death. It was an album that Freddie was proud of, even if some might say their earlier work was better.

When it came down to the last week of Freddie’s life, Jim Hutton, Freddie’s husband even if they weren’t legally married, was constantly by his side. When taking care of someone who you love, it is hard to watch them die in front of you. It becomes worse when you lie to them. Freddie’s friends and family knew what was going to come soon, but not Freddie.

Jim committed a sin to stop the pain from eating up Freddie. Freddie knew his date would be coming up soon but didn’t know exactly when it would happen. So, when he had asked the date, Jim lied.

“It’s only November 22st dear,” Jim replied in a somber tone, knowing full well it was the 23rd.

Freddie called his manager, Jim Beach, and had a public statement written up about his condition. Freddie’s plan was to have the statement be released later that day on the 22nd, the 23rd be a day for friends and family to come and see him one last time, and that night he would send everyone away, so he could die at some point on the 24th.

Perhaps it was cruel of Jim to have lied to Freddie about the date. Perhaps it was mercy so no one else had to see Freddie’s state. The only thing known was that lie haunted Jim for the rest of his life.

When Freddie woke up the next morning, he found it hard to speak but hoped by midday he’d be able to convey his wishes. That never came. After waking up and having a soft, mushy breakfast made by Joe Fanelli, Freddie fell back asleep. Jim was by his side up until the end.

Freddie’s death hadn’t been made public yet, but everyone knew with the release of the public statement and the photos of Freddie’s declining health over the past few months that something was up. It was about an hour after Freddie’s passing that the band made it over to Garden Lodge.

“Is he?” Roger started as he entered the house. All Jim needed to do was a nod for tears to begin welling up in his eyes.

Brian took it the easiest, which is saying something. He cried at Freddie’s house with the other band members and Freddie’s closest friends before heading home and locking himself away for a few hours. Depression would rule his life for about two years afterward and at many points, Brian would wonder what he could have done to prevent this. Still, this was nothing compared to Roger and John’s reactions.

Roger defaulted to anger. He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten the conversations in the dark with the other members. How he should’ve been more surveillant. Hundreds of times popped into his head when he could’ve invited Freddie out with him instead of letting the man go off by himself. Many things were thrown and broken that day by the drummer once he left Garden Lodge. Once the anger subsided, depression took hold. Freddie had left a hole in Roger’s heart that would never be filled again. 'Platonic soulmates' as Jim had pegged them was probably the truest definition of their relationship.

John probably took it the hardest. John was already struggling with his family and his alcoholism when Freddie’s death hit him. John was the member Freddie took under his wing. John suspected this was because Freddie was always afraid that something might happen to him because of his quiet personality. Queen had been a family for him and now one of them was gone. Seeing Brian and Roger hurt John because he knew that there would never be four of them again. He would do the tribute concert to send off one of his best friends, but from then on, Queen would be a shut chapter of his life.

As Freddie had once sung, “Too much love will kill you.”

And to Roger, John, and Brian, there was no one they loved more than the man they called Freddie Mercury.


End file.
